Asking for one favor

Dear Dodgers Pitching Staff:

As a devoted fan and follower of the ballclub for over 20 years now, I feel entitled to ask for one small and insignificant favor from the team I have defended from many battery chucking Giants fans at Candlestink (not a typo) and PacHell Park.

Please, oh please can I tune into a game just once for the remainder of this season and find the Dodgers actually ahead for once?!??! It seems like everytime I tune into a game recently, the Dodgers are behind 1-0 regardless of whether it's the 1st, 5th, or 9th inning. Throw some freakin' goose eggs up there to start a game will ya? Alvarez gives up a HR to the first guy he faces. Last night I turn on the game during the bottom of the 1st and it's already 1-0. Learn how to freakin' pitch useless retards!!!

BTW, props to Hee-Seop Choi for banging the Dodger reject Mulholland's first pitch off the foul pole in the 9th last night for the game winner. I would say that this proves Choi can hit lefties, but I don't think Mulholland should count as a Major League pitcher anymore. Can't believe he still has a job. Twins must be desperate for a lefty reliever.

That's it for now.

Peace Out.

-El Maestro